It's been a long, long while since I updated my journal. I'm not sure how it got out of my daily routine. Lately, as you've seen, I've just been posting things I talk about on AIM. I guess when I have people to talk to daily I don't think about jotting anything down.
Things have been so up and down in this life lately and some of it I can't even mention. It's just been one crazy drama after another, I don't see how people can into television dramas when real life slathers you with enough drama that it taints everything you see with a cloud of cynicism. Everything seems damned to ruin when things haunt you in the back of your mind.
Why do I draw cute, sweet, innocent things more often than not? Because I'm that 80's child always, fighting to stay that way despite what life throws at me. The 80's child who says "There's still gonna be a day when the sun comes out. There's still gonna be a day when I can save the animals and the children. There's gonna be a day when I'll truly not have a care in the world." I won't have nightmares and worry myself to sleep every night. Why do I look on the bright side? To give the world the finger.
Now that I don't have to go to work and hit the ground running I can look back and think on things. I think I know now what I want to name my little girl when and if I have a baby girl. I was going to name her Hannah Elizabeth and leave it at that but there's another middle name I'd like to put in there.
Hannah Gail Elizabeth.
I don't know if Gail will ever come online and see her name in my journal. But she's my mother's age and I'm going to miss her. A lot. She worked at the glass shop with us for about a year and moved out of state last week. On those days before she left, we just talked over puttying and glazing the windows we all worked on for St. Ambrose. She related to me her story and I think it's worth remembering. She just felt like family then and I want to name my little girl after her and my own mother. I realised she looked like my grandmother, too. She looked just like Rebecca Elizabeth, the same small build and hands and it just struck a chord with me. Maybe I'm being too sentimental, but then she was no longer a stranger to me.