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03/10/2006 Archived Entry: "So lonely..."

It's so lonely, even amongst all the new people I talk to every day with work and online. The people I've known for years seem to like to make me part of the background, who knows if that's really the case but... I feel it.

I'm not asking for attention minute by minute, but... some people act nonplussed or won't speak to me unless they need something. And all I know is it didn't used to be that way. What was so different then compared to now?

Am I so far gone from what I was that I'm no longer interesting? Do I have to constantly be interesting to keep a friend? Even when I go out of my way to do something for someone... little acknowledgement.

It hurts, but why fight it? If it's meant to be that way, then let come what may. I'm tired of trying.