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01/31/2005 Archived Entry: "She LIVES!!"

This was too funny NOT to post...

Composer Zelgadis: Fuck you guys. I'm grabbing a Brisk tea.
Composer Zelgadis: brb.
PhantomCarousel: Hardcore, man.
Teka i se Rrakah: hell yeah
PhantomCarousel: Fucking... A....
Teka i se Rrakah: that lemon juice will fuck you up, man
PhantomCarousel: Dude, Brisk WITH lemon!? Holy shit! We gotta stop him! D:
Teka i se Rrakah: oh shit
Teka i se Rrakah: you're right
PhantomCarousel: What if he like... overdoses!?
Teka i se Rrakah: it'd be too much for him
PhantomCarousel: All that imitation citrus! Dear lord!
Teka i se Rrakah: oh god
PhantomCarousel: Shit, call 9-1-1!
Teka i se Rrakah: have you ever seen a citrus overdose?
Teka i se Rrakah: it's horrible
PhantomCarousel: Dude, I'm from Texas! I HAVE!
Teka i se Rrakah: :o
PhantomCarousel: You turn all Ruby Red sometimes.
PhantomCarousel: And you attract fruit flies.
Teka i se Rrakah: oh god
PhantomCarousel: Then like people want you in their margaritas!
Teka i se Rrakah: not fruit flies
Teka i se Rrakah: the deadliest insect known to man :(
PhantomCarousel: Yeah, dude. Breathe one of those things in and it's game over! D:
Teka i se Rrakah: i've seen a swarm pick a cow carcass clean in minutes
Composer Zelgadis: :'(
PhantomCarousel: I saw this one make a crop circle! On CONCRETE!
Composer Zelgadis: I don't feel right....
PhantomCarousel: The LEMON is kicking in!
PhantomCarousel: NUUUUUUU!! You're gonna live, man!
PhantomCarousel: Breathe, man, breathe! Don't go towards the light!
Composer Zelgadis: I dunno.... I feel really fucked up...
Teka i se Rrakah: oh god
PhantomCarousel: He's overdosed!!
Teka i se Rrakah: oh god...
Composer Zelgadis: *slumps to ground*
PhantomCarousel: Quick! Quick! He needs an enema!
Teka i se Rrakah: a yogurt enema
PhantomCarousel: We gotta flush it out! I'll get the fire hose!
Composer Zelgadis: "... ... ..."
Teka i se Rrakah: i'll get the lard
Composer Zelgadis: ...*peaks open one eye* ...the WHAT?
Teka i se Rrakah: and the sandpaper
PhantomCarousel: He's delerious! Knock him out!
Composer Zelgadis: *bolts right up*
Composer Zelgadis: It's cool.
PhantomCarousel: He's trippin' on the lemon!
Composer Zelgadis: We're all cool here.
Teka i se Rrakah: oh fuck
Teka i se Rrakah: hold him down!
Composer Zelgadis: Cool like Brisk. 8-)
Composer Zelgadis: WHAT?
Composer Zelgadis: NO!
PhantomCarousel: *gets the duct tape*
Composer Zelgadis: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Composer Zelgadis: *runs for door*
PhantomCarousel: *lassos him* YEeeeeee-HAW!
Teka i se Rrakah: i have to inject morphine into his heart to calm him down
Composer Zelgadis: :O
Teka i se Rrakah: grab him!
Composer Zelgadis: I could really use The Force right about now.
Teka i se Rrakah: oh shit
Teka i se Rrakah: he's delerious
Composer Zelgadis: Hey, John! *shouts to other room*
Composer Zelgadis: We're best friends, ya know?!
PhantomCarousel: He thinks he's Alec Guiness! :O
Teka i se Rrakah: :o
Composer Zelgadis: I'm not Alec Guiness! >_<
Teka i se Rrakah: god, how can people sleep at night knowing what the Brisk they sell does to people?
PhantomCarousel: Denial! *tapes him to the floor, ass in the air* Get the hose!
Composer Zelgadis: OH FUCK
Teka i se Rrakah: got it
Teka i se Rrakah: and the K-Y
Composer Zelgadis: Dude....
Composer Zelgadis: You're my friend...
Composer Zelgadis: Help me...
Teka i se Rrakah: and the belt sander
Composer Zelgadis: *faints*
Composer Zelgadis: *and is unconscious*
Composer Zelgadis: *and cannot feel anything*
PhantomCarousel: We'll help you! :O
Teka i se Rrakah: i need 5000cc of epinephrine!
Composer Zelgadis: :O
PhantomCarousel: Check! *hands him the 3 liter of Ambesol*
Composer Zelgadis: :O
PhantomCarousel: *lubes the fire hose* You're gonna make it, man! Don't die!
Composer Zelgadis: Teka.... man...! *kinda comes around* We was niggaz for lyfe, man...
Composer Zelgadis: *falls out of it again*
Teka i se Rrakah: *turns on the sander*
Teka i se Rrakah: ready?
PhantomCarousel: Fore!!